What will your statement be?

“This Fall we’ll go to a Bears game.”

These words casually spoken a few months back land solidly in your child’s memory. They bank on them as a promise and look forward with great anticipation to their fulfillment. Imagine their dismay and hurt sometime later when or if you casually respond with, “Oh, I didn’t say we would go for sure. I meant if we had the time and it all worked out.”

Proverbs 13:12 instructs us that: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”

We can create or dash hope with our statements. Our words must be words that our children and others can fully rely upon.

In our home when our children make a request, David and I have a simple saying that we endeavor to live by. It goes as follows: “When Mom or Dad says ‘yes’, it means ‘yes’ (and when Mom or Dad says ‘no’, it means ‘no’).

We are to be careful and clear with our words. What are we saying to our children that they are receiving as “yes” or even as “no”? (As parents we try to say “yes” whenever we can, while training our children prudence in their requests.) Sometimes we would say, “I cannot give you a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ until I have a bit more information. I will give you your ‘yes’ or your ‘no’ later this afternoon or “in two days” for example or when necessary with older children. Then we must follow through so that they know with certainty that your response was a “yes” or a “no.”

Simple “yeses” or “nos” clarify understanding for all parties involved as long as we abide by them. So, when we give a “yes” or a “no” to our kids they are able to respond with a simple, “Okay, Mom (or Dad),” knowing that your words hold value and can be trusted.

Simply said,

Mean what you say,
Follow through on what you say,
So others will value what you say.

Building a legacy of integrity in our speech also builds special connections in our relationships.

"But let your statement be, 'Yes, yes' or 'No, no'; anything beyond these is of evil.”  Matthew 5:37